


Horizon

by Th3_Morrigan



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Pining, horizon - Freeform, kaidan has the right to be upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 03:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20789996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Th3_Morrigan/pseuds/Th3_Morrigan
Summary: "It's been too long, Kaidan," Shepard said easily.  "How have you been?"





	Horizon

**Author's Note:**

> I have been on writing hiatus for a while now. Am a little rusty, words still don't come as easy as they have, but I hope you enjoy.

As if the shock of facing the Collectors wasn't enough, the day just got weirder when Alenko, finally able to move, was faced with the most unexpected sight.

At first he thought he was hallucinating, perhaps an effect of whatever it was he was stung with. He saw the Commander emerging through the smoke, gun in hand and in a defensive position. Seeing him brought a sense of nostalgia. More so when he saw Garrus emerge from the haze behind him.

_Am I dead? _

It was the only plausible reason. He wasn't a religious man but he did like to believe that there was more to life than this. Perhaps he really had died in the attack and Shepard was here to finally take him away to the afterlife. 

The thought was interrupted when Delan came running out of the buildings toward the Commander and his company, screaming. 

Kaidan blinked, confused. Now Delan was talking to him, agitated, saying something about how all of this was the Alliance's fault. He could hear their voices drifting toward him. 

"Shepard?" he heard Delan say. "I know that name."

Kaidan picked up the pace. Goddamn, were the rumors true then? He and Delan were definitely talking. He finally reached them and answered Delan before the Commander could.

"Commander Shepard." That name though constantly on his mind hadn't passed his lips in a long while. It was familiar, but also rather difficult to say out loud after so long.

"Captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel,"Kaidan continued, willing himself to walk, not run, still unsure if this was real. "You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

He watched the Commander's head snap toward him, watched the perpetual frown on his face smoothed out, watched his eyes brighten at the sight of him.

"Kaidan!" The voice was unmistakable . The sound of it saying his name stirred something inside him. Instinctively he went straight up to the Commander. It seemed the most natural thing to do, his body moving on its own accord, betraying him.

The Commander moved toward him too. There was no hesitation when they hugged. The man held him close, and their bodies fit together like it used to, even with their armor. It was familiar, it was comforting.

And it was just too good to be true. 

Kaidan was the first to pull back. 

"You're alive," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking with emotion. "I thought you were dead. We all did.

It was more a statement than a question, like he was reassuring himself Shepard was indeed real. Hell, he even smelled the same. 

"It's been too long, Kaidan," Shepard said easily. "How have you been?"

Two years gone and that was it? _ How have you been?_ Kaidan's emotions were starting to catch up with him. Could Shepard really be this blasé? Did he not know what his death - or disappearance or whatever the fuck this was – did he not know what it did to him? Did he not care? Did anything that happened between them not matter anymore?

"Is that all you have to say?" Kaidan struggled to find words. "I…I thought we had something, Shepard…I loved you!"

He knew this really wasn't the time to discuss this, not in front Garrus or the woman in the tight suit, or Delan, but he couldn't help himself. This was Shepard. This was_everything_ that ever meant anything to him.

A flash of hurt on the Commander's face, gone in an instant. Typical of him, always so guarded with his feelings, but Kaidan knew how to look and he didn’t miss it. It almost gave him hope but…

"Not my fault!" Shepard said, defensive with an edge of anger in his voice. "I spent two years in a coma while Cerberus rebuilt me."

Cerberus.

Kaidan took a step back. Anger was quick to overtake him too.

"All this time you were alive and you didn't even bother to let me know? And you're with _them_ now? What happened to you? Are you even the same person anymore?" The barrage of questions came out before he could stop himself.

Shepard tried to reason with him, like he always did. "I'm not with them," he said. "But we both want to stop the Reapers. Kaidan, you know me."

_You know me._

Did he still though? 

Being brought back to life seemed far-fetched, although with Cerberus it might be possible. Assuming he was telling the truth, could they really have brought back the real Shepard? Joker told him how bad it was when the Commander shut him in the last escape pod to save him. Hell, they all saw the explosion. Even if he did somehow survive it Shepard couldn't have had long. Not out in space. So just how much of him is still intact and how much of him was replaced with synthetics? How much of his thought process and consciousness was his own and not run by this ominous corporation? 

"Come with me, Kaidan," Shepard said with a smile and an outstretched hand.

His heart wanted so very much to leave with him, but Kaidan was an Alliance soldier first. His instincts told him this Shepard could not be trusted, his duty reminded him he had a responsibility to Horizon, to the Alliance.

So even after two years of grieving, of pining, and of finally having his prayers answered and getting the man he loved back, he walked away from him.

"Kaidan!" Shepard called out to him. It sounded almost like an order. Almost. But he also heard the slight plea in his voice. 

Kaidan almost gave in, but he was a stubborn man and loyal to his duties. Shepard always said he loved that about him. He wondered what the Commander thought of him now. 

"Goodbye, Shepard."

He didn't know if the Commander heard him. He didn't turn around to find out. He just kept walking. There was much to do. Horizon needed him. 


End file.
